The Three Golden Rules Of Blow Jobs

Thought Catalog

I’m the kinda girl who only gives blow jobs to guys I’m really serious about. There’s been a stray unimportant wiener here or there, but for the most part blow jobs = obsessed with you/ your penis. They’re a labor of love, and I won’t get anything out of it unless turning you on turns me on — no need to toss out freebies to people I don’t care about pleasing. Besides, I always get a bit of a sore throat afterward and I do kiss my mother with this thing. So yeah, blow jobs are pretty intimate — more so than, if not equal to, sex. (Yeah, I said it.)

Because I put emotional stock into blow jobs, I spend a lot of time thinking about them — chiefly, blow job etiquette. You might be shaking your head right now and saying, “Grace, there is no right and wrong…

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