An 8-Step Vagina Manual For Those Not In Possession Of One

Thought Catalog

Look, guys, I don’t blame you for not always knowing about vaginas. They’re complicated. Beautiful, but complicated. I would have directed this to everybody but as I have seen in my own experiences with lesbian sex, people who own one tend to know how to handle one. And so, I present to you, a user’s manual for the vagina if you are not in possession of one:

1. It does not want to be poked or prodded.

This isn’t like an arcade game. You don’t hit it enough times and then, whoop! You’ve won! There’s the orgasm! It needs some tender, passionate loving. It needs to be caressed in the right places, with steady speed and pressure.

2. Tongue, people. Tongue.

If you ask a girl what she wants and she’s like, oh, I don’t care, allow me to translate this for you: to stick your tongue all up in…

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