1. The Salamander Kisser
When people talk about things hurting “so good,” they’re usually not referring to a make out sesh. Making out is supposed to feel like a massage with a happy ending, not war. Nonetheless, some people miss this memo and choose to use their tongue as a weapon, not an aphrodisiac. They stab you repeatedly with it, causing you to wince in pain and go straight to foreplay. Actually, you should probably put the kibosh on any foreplay. Chances are if someone doesn’t understand the fundamentals of kissing, they’ll fail at everything else. Besides, would you want someone with a salamander tongue near your private parts? I didn’t think so.
2. The Biter
Since we’re on the subject of causing unnecessary pain, let’s talk about the biter, shall we? Now don’t get me wrong, I love a little bite in my make outs. However, my face is…
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