1. Eat really messy foods (Hello, short ribs) at your desk and not use wet-naps.
2. Shake your boss’ hand, but do that thing where you tickle the palm with your finger.
3. Use your coworker’s cup and drink some carbonated sugary beverage and forget to clean it out.
4. Leave food trays at your desk.
5. Put your headphones on, turn up the volume real loud and sing Macklemore really loud.
6. Stare at the person to your right.
7. Talk about how you really have to go to the bathroom, but you can’t because you’re really swamped with work.
8. Message your coworkers individually and make up rumors about each one.
9. When someone asks you a question, respond…
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