25 Reasons My High School Is Better Than Yours

Thought Catalog

My high school is better than your high school.

1. My high school wins all the sports games. Except for the ones that it loses to learn valuable life lessons, so it can also beat you at sportsmanship.

2. Our mascot is the Sabertoothed Timberlake. A quintuple threat, the Sabertoothed Timberlake can sing, dance, act, shred your tendons to ribbons, and do it all while pulling off a fedora.

3. The lunch lady at my high school makes chocolate chip cookies that are so raw they got five people pregnant.  Luckily, they were only pregnant with cookies, so they just pooped them out and ate them.

4. My high school has never had a senior prank, because we aren’t fucking joking.

5. In 1987, an epic food fight broke out at my high school. It is still going on.

6. The walls of my high school aren’t lined with lockers…

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About Setoshino

I'm not as clever as I think I am.
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