1. You habitually find yourself in inappropriately deep conversations. In particular, at bars, or in other social settings. Someone brings up Rihanna, like casually, and you’re all “the post-colonial American hegemony of pop music is infiltrating homosocial relations.” Awkward silence ensues.
2. You write hundreds of pages criticizing the oppression of past time periods, yet secretly love old times and wish desperately that you lived in, say, 1920s Paris.
3. You have an irresistible urge to put quotation marks around everything: “feminine,” “masculine, “ “nation-state”…they’re all just like, cultural constructs, you know?
4. After college, it dawned on you with no-small horror that no one would ever again care how much you know about Herman Melville, and that your hyper-critical tendencies are no longer glorified and validated on a weekly basis.
5. You feel like you’re pretty smart, and definitely worked really hard…you think you have employable skills…but, well, define…
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