I’ve been twenty-three for nearly two months, which naturally means I have the world more or less figured out. Tax season? All over it. Recreational travel? Boom. Intermediate cuisine? #FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt.
But as I attempt to decipher the more advanced elements of the universe, there remain a few scant issues that continue to puzzle me. I’ll outline them for you below. Feel free to solve these existential conundrums in the comment section.
1. I don’t get blind people.
How the hell do they take the subway? With nothing more than intuition and those little turkey baster bubbles on the end of their canes, they adeptly navigate down steep stairwells and precarious platforms. It’s insane. Not once have I seen the newspaper headline: “Blind Man Stumbles Onto Subway Track, Ruthlessly Mauled by Incoming Train” in spite of its logical probability.
2. I don’t get family finances.
My main budgetary struggles consist of…
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