1. You have an active social life. Sorry, but leaving your apartment will almost always result in you spending money. Why is this surprising? That’s why most socialites are rich. Because it costs money to go out to dinner, go to a bar, spend enough money to get drunk, and take a cab home. You know what doesn’t cost any money though? Staying home and feeling things. Emotions are always free!
2. You pay five dollars for a coffee every single day because you don’t “do” drip and you need your coffee beans to always be fair-trade organic orgasmic.
3. You don’t drink at home. Or you know what? You drink period. Every “broke” person I know always miraculously has enough money to drink. They’ll be telling me about their dire financial situation at the bar as they order their fifth drink, “It’s really bad, sweetie. Like, I seriously don’t…
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