Signs That I’m Trying To Break Up With You, In Order Of Increasing Intensity

Thought Catalog

Welcome to Dumpsville — Population: You. Breaking up is hard to do, but not that hard, because I just don’t like you anymore. But how to signify that in an easy way? Here are the methods by which I indicate to my significant other that I am “just not that into them” anymore. They are listed in order of increasing intensity. I hope that they work as well for you as they have for me:

  1. I respond to at least 40% of your interjections with the following word: “Huh.”
  2. I build a small fort in the center of the living room out of blankets, pillows, and a table, and name it “Oliver’s Place.” I spend a lot of time there. Not sure why exactly. I just feel safer and more secure there.
  3. When we watch the movie Star Wars I quote all the dialogue along with the movie in real…

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About Setoshino

I'm not as clever as I think I am.
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