1. In the spirit of Breaking Bad finally (!) winning Best Drama, all the Emmy voters took meth before they cast their ballots.
2. They threw the game to score big at their office pools. It worked for the White Sox, so why not?
3. They think that Claire Danes is her character on Homeland and are too concerned about her emotional state to give it to anyone else. I can’t blame them, though. Claire Danes really is that good.
4. Like in 3rd grade, the Emmys declared it opposite day – but forgot to tell anyone.
5. Jim Parsons has blackmail on everyone. It must be really good dirt, because it seems like he will win for the rest of our lives, even when The Big Bang Theory isn’t on anymore.
6. The Emmys have been watching too many Miley Cyrus videos and thought that trolling America would get…
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