1. You wholeheartedly enjoy eating cereal straight from the from the box.
2. You resent the fact that everything society has to offer–from hotel packages to meal options at chain restaurant–seems specifically designed for two people.
3. You get temporarily excited about the fact that your roommate’s new boyfriend/girlfriend has single roommates.
4. You don’t get disappointed when those roommates aren’t up to par, because obviously.
5. You bathe in the sea of properly-adjusted self-deprecation.
6. …and therefore pump out Facebook status gem after Facebook status gem.
7. You spend entire dinners telling their friends about how freaky and batshit crazy the Netflix documentary they just watch was. Clearly, they are all worried in that minor lip-biting way.
8. You’ve ceased stressing and thinking about being in a relationship, because in the words of wonderful songstress Stacie Orrico, “There’s Gotta Be More To Life, Than Chasing Down Every Temporary High.”
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