Let’s all be honest for one or two seconds here: BREAKUPS ARE A JOKE. Maybe not at first, but once you’re over the mental breakdowns it’s pretty funny to go back and be like, “Haha, can you believe he said thinking of me gave him boners? How can you even have multiple boners?”
Some types of breakups you might have:
1. The “You cheated on me.”
That’s pretty much it. You decided to put your genitals in or around another person’s without my consent, and now you’re dead to me. I’m actually feeling pretty good about myself because you just surpassed any amount of asshole I could ever dream to be. I can’t even be mad. I can only think of shooting dildos up your butt for fun.
2. The “Were we ever dating?”
I don’t know. You probably don’t know either. We haven’t talked in a while, so this…
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