1. Hate on lists that generalize/stereotype having one’s period.
2. Mull over evolution and wonder why this is even necessary anymore. Also consider the fact that you wouldn’t mind not having ovaries. Reconsider when you realize that would mean never having kids. Realize they’re probably overrated and childbirth hurts worse than this. Go back to your original complaint.
3. Throw a party because you’re not pregnant.
4. Throw a shit storm because you’re in a lesbian relationship and though pregnancy isn’t a concern your period has synced up with your girl’s and your lives together are resembling the eighth circle of hell.
5. Shamelessly ask a friend to check you while you walk a few steps in front of them, wait to hear “you’re good, you’re good.”
6. Think about sex a lot. Too much actually. Wonder why you never want it as much as when you can’t have it…
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