1. Being old is hip. It means that you appear to have more problems than the rest of your peers. It also means you are a tortured soul. Being a tortured soul enables you to stare out at a lake for an uncomfortably long time in a low budget, independent film.
2. Very much like when you were in 7th grade and a few people you know started doing drugs and having sex (WHAT?!?!? FRED?!?! FRED TRAVERS?!?!), one of your close friends is now involved in something that’s supposed to be reserved for people 10 years your senior–be it marriage, kids, or a real-live mortgage.
3. You’ve convinced yourself that when you were that age, no chance did you look that young.
4. Your fave sushi/sake/karaoke place that you always used to go to, and forged all your most important memories in, recently closed because they had a dispute with…
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