1. Three episodes in one day is nothing. Four is impressive. Five is rare. You’ve done… seven.
2. The highlight of your workday is the 15 minutes spent in the kitchen Monday morning theorizing about “what’s going to happen” next week. Especially exciting given that “you really have no idea…like actually no fucking idea.”
3. You underscore your enthusiasm for the beginning of a new season with a premier party. Which you’ll immediately regret cause that one fool won’t stop asking the most obvious questions.
4. Some people get emotionally distraught when people are ignorant of proper recycling practices. You get emotionally distraught when someone doesn’t know what Orange Is The New Black Is.
5. You pre-empt spoiler possibilities with well-timed social media freezes.
6. When you are “ahead” of your friends in a certain show, part of you immediately considers them a waste of life who really doesn’t realize what…
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