1. Poorly-timed “demonstrations of talent.”
Nah, bro, don’t pick up that acoustic guitar. Everyone’s having a good time, there’s no need to rotate yourself 45 degrees and start breathily performing ‘Wonderwall’ in the general direction of the girl with the tight sweater. We get it, you know how to play an instrument, and that’s super cool. But don’t make the whole party get all tense and weird because you want to directly translate your musical skill into the equivalent number of panties. The party was so chill up until this moment. Wait, no, don’t you dare take out the Moleskin with your handwritten lyrics and play ‘an original jam.’ Don’t you fucking dare.
2. Dick pics.
I’m not here to tell you that you can’t enjoy the errant dick pic in the confines of a consenting, adult relationship where all parties have expressed desire for a gross, pixely snapshot of…
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