- Unless you happen upon some high-paying, prestigious, prominent position as a venture capitalist, you can expect to see a significant drop in your disposable income. “Pay Yourself” first, and take care of your obligations.
- If you’re single (and an asshole, like me), you will have a lot of sex with people you don’t care about. For ≈ 75% of these occurrences, you will be highly intoxicated, and will use this detail to justify your actions to both yourself, and your closest friends. You will experience feelings of self-loathing immediately (or shortly) after the event, post-coital cuddling notwithstanding.
- You will lose touch with the people you said would stand in your wedding. This will help you specify those who truly matter to you. The people you would strangle a puppy for, if it meant their joy.
- You will come to the unpleasant realization that dreams you had whilst getting shitfaced in…
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