Things My Friends Drunk Texted My Not-Boyfriend

Thought Catalog

The problem with house parties full of drunken loved-up 18-year-olds is they seem to be filled with an urge to matchmake everyone. And to embarrass the people they like. And as I am single, and I was around people who have the poor judgement to like me, I was prime embarrassment material.

After multiple shots of vodka I was lamenting the fact that the boy I’m dating-but-not-going-out-with hadn’t texted me back, and my friends decided to take matters into their own hands…

1. 11:11pm: “Text me back. Right bloody now.”

This was courtesy of Kish, the campest guy I have ever met, who has started dating my friend Gill. Nobody believes he’s straight. It’s slightly awkward. I’m amazed it was so restrained, as his texts usually involve copious winky faces and musical references. Still, it was a good opener — somewhere on the passive-aggressive continuum, with the lack of kiss…

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About Setoshino

I'm not as clever as I think I am.
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