1. You won’t get pregnant.
I can say this with almost 100% guarantee. It is physically impossible to conceive a child without having adult relations. It has only happened once before in history, so you’re basically in the clear. It’s not that babies aren’t great, its just they aren’t great right now. I can barely take care of myself when I go out to the bar. In fact, I can barely take care of myself. Period. My life is in shambles and I don’t floss.
2.You don’t have to participate in people’s sex jokes that aren’t funny.
Or maybe they are funny. I don’t know. I DON’T GET THEM.
3. You don’t have to get a Pap Smear.
To be honest, I don’t know what a pap smear is. However, I’ve heard they’re awful and I believe everything people tell me. Personally, I just hate the word smear. It’s probably…
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