Putting aside the crippling debt and the broken liver and the permanent aversion to whiteboards given to you by college, four-year universities—and high schools, as well—do a really bad job of providing any sort of expectation about what to expect from the working world. This is far from a new idea, but it’s worth saying again: Some sort of two-week class on taxes, office social norms, and answering emails like a normal fucking human being should be a graduation requirement. Because, over your first two weeks cutting paychecks, you’re an alien. An alien who has been instructed by his leaders to blend into an office setting, and who has been beamed down to Earth with only the knowledge garnered from a few Spin City episodes pirated by your UFO. You don’t have a clue.
With that in mind, here are 15 myths about the modern American workplace, debunked:
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