1. Start your own business, then do absolutely nothing with it EXCEPT create a Facebook page for it, then update your Work section to say, “Founder/CEO at (insert name of business here).”
2. Use your excess student loan money to buy ridiculously extravagant suits, ties, and shoes that you wear to your Introductory Economics lectures.
3. Memorize the first fifty digits of pi. Recite them at every given opportunity.
4. Use your Twitter bio to tell people that you’re a writer, artist, photographer, entrepreneur, and astronaut. Never forget that if you own a guitar, you are by default a musician/singer-songwriter/session guitarist for Mumford and Sons. Even if you’ve never played a chord in your life.
5. Use the Assistant Dean’s email signature as a template for your own. Include it at the end of every single message you send, directly before the line that says, “Sent from my iPad.”
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