25 Signs You’re Not Even Close To As Fun As You Used To Be

Thought Catalog

1. Your friends are past the point of trying to figure out what happened. For worse or for worse, this new you is here to stay.

2. Having an 8am class the next morning was never a problem. Now, having a “coffee thing” at 1pm might be a dealbreaker.

3. Cancellations are cause for celebration. (for a proper summation, go to the 3:20 mark below:)

4. You used to be pissed at your phone for never vibrating. Now, that’s your worst nightmare.

5. You can write a 3,000 word essay on the pros and cons of the various sitting styles/areas on your couch.

6. You haven’t exactly sworn off alcohol. But you are most certainly terrified by it.

7. Clarence from It’s A Wonderful Life notes that “every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.” Which is also what happens whenever there’s a new delivery menu…

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13 Things That Should Exist For New York Women In Their 20s

Thought Catalog

1. A badass lighter that never gets lost in your bag and allows you to light a perfect cig every time regardless of the wind.

2. Light rain boots that don’t give you blisters and soccer calves after a day of walking around.

3. Nipple guards that can sense when it’s cold/ you’re aroused and cover that shiz up.

4. A pest detection alarm that alerts you to creatures so you don’t shit your pants right away.

5. A sign that beams out at creeps when a bitchy resting face isn’t substantial and says, “If you look at me again I will castrate you”.

6. A hard drive where all of your million dollar ideas that come up on long walks or trips on the Subway are beamed to and you can flip through later.

7. An implant underneath your nose that pumps out the scent of your choice as…

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6 Places You’ll Never See Again

Thought Catalog

1. The Childhood Bedroom

I don’t think I really even remember my childhood bedroom. Mine was at the end of the corridor of a tiny apartment my mom, my brother and I lived in. Dad was usually out of the country. I think my bedroom changed a few times, depending on what cartoon, Barbie doll or Disney movie was in fashion. There were stuffed animals, at some point Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys posters, half of my closet was used for mom’s storage and it eventually became the computer room. Thank God we moved shortly after that.

2. The Detention Room

The most dreaded room for all of Middle School and High School, there was probably a detention room starting since Kindergarten but I don’t think I was aware of detention then. Although I can honestly say that I was only in the detention room once (felt SO badass), the…

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The 7 Types Of Guys We’ve Lowered Our Standards For

Thought Catalog

There’s this theory. That you rate yourself out of 10 and then you can date people two points either above or below that figure. My friend, my rugby playing, non-emotional, beer drinking brother-like friend recently told me I am an eight. I laugh awkwardly and sip my coffee, then think about all the guys I have ever dated. What were they? He asks me about my recent romantic endeavour, one in which the guy eventuated into a drug mule and chlamydia carrier. Undoubtedly ending in disaster.

He asked,

“Was he hotter than you?”

“What? Hotter? I don’t know. You met him, he was cool,” I said. Ish. Cool-ish.

“He was definitely not as hot as you,” he said. And I sat and thought about it, wondering if it was vain to agree or not, and was that weird.

“I don’t get it, aye,” he said, after I told him about…

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15 Reasons Why Quitting Your Job And Traveling The World Might Just Cause You More Problems

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20 Quirks Girls Have That Guys Can’t Stand

Thought Catalog

I know these because I do most of these. I’m sorry that lesbians are excluded from this article.

1. Biting Nails

I’m not a nail-biter myself, but I can safely assume guys don’t enjoy having to hold hands with stubby, chode-like fingers.

2. Can’t Take Compliments

It’s one thing to respond to a compliment with, “Who, me?? Nah…you crazy…” But it’s quite another thing to respond in a much more serious, body-dysmorphia kind of way. If a dude tells you you’re looking good, don’t get all wackjob on his ass—mainly because you would inevitably end up drawing attention to your “flaws” that he would have never noticed.

3. Talking About Yourself A Lot

It sucks, because our lives are always so much more interesting than theirs, but just try not to have that written all over your face. Apparently guys have feelings too.

4. Saying “Like” A Lot

I don’t…

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20 Lessons You Learn As An Undergrad

Thought Catalog

1. It’s totally acceptable to bail early from a class. Particularly if it’s a huge lecture and you can get out of the room without drawing attention to yourself. You’ll get a feel for which professors are assholes about attendance; avoid skipping or being tardy for those lectures, because you do not want to be on a prof/TA’s bad side. But: you are paying to be there. Keep that in mind. Would you pay for an order at McDonalds and then drive off before they serve your food?

2. Cramming works sometimes. But really nothing beats having a firm grasp on the test material and practicing over time. If you have a reasonable base knowledge of a topic and just need some finesse work on the details, you can probably do that with a one- or two-hour block of focus right before the exam.

3. Making friends in class will…

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14 Really Weird Things You Won’t Be Fazed By If You Live In A City

Thought Catalog

Despite having lived in NYC my entire life, there are just some things I still can’t get used to. Namely, the nauseating, cold-sweat feeling that washes over you when you’re hungover and on your way to work, and you step right into a fart cloud or pass what smells like a rotting human. But barring that, there’s really not much that long-term city-dwellers are fazed by. Some examples, in no particular order:

1. Tranny fist fights

We don’t even call it that here. We just call it, Tuesday nights in the West Village.

2. Beggars

In some cities, they’re everywhere. And while I can’t speak for other cities, I know that New Yorkers are not only unfazed by them, but will in fact go so far as to appear offended by them too.

3. Dumpster divers

One man’s trash is another man’s goldmine. And who are we to judge?


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19 Ways You Know It’s Time To Call It A Night And Go Home

Thought Catalog

Compiled from a series of real life events. You’re all welcome. 

1. You’re sitting next to a homeless person sharing a beer.

2. You’re long past drunk texting and calling your recent ex, and so naturally you’re considering just going over to their place to… talk.

3. You’re straight up passed out on the couch in the middle of the party.

4. You’re sitting next to a nice older couple in McDonald’s having breakfast in your dress and heels and they ask you where you’re going this morning to be dressed like that.

5. You find yourself playing beer pong by yourself and stepping over sleeping/blacked out(?) bodies to retrieve balls. And you are loving it. 

6. The iHop employees are staring at you because you finished your pancakes 45 minutes ago but you’re just lingering trying to plan your next move.

7. You pee anywhere that’s not a toilet…

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5 Creative Ways To Get Over A Guy

Thought Catalog

1. Burn everything that reminds you of him:

As long as it doesn’t have a pulse, you’re set. Just be safe and try not to burn your house down. Bring your girlfriends over, binge on pizza, play “I Will Survive” on full blast, and just burn everything he gave you – teddy bears, pictures, his love letters, etc. Burn it all, and to add to the suspense, chant some gibberish and pretend you’re doing witchcraft. It feels great!

2. Write a list of all the reasons why you should NEVER go back to him:

There will be times, when you’re sitting on the couch in your marinara-stained PJs, eating leftover chips off your hair, you will miss him – a lot. And that’s when you’ll need to pull out your “hate list” and read it. Read it a thousand times. Sing it if you want. Or read it in 3…

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